Paging Dr Love

Posted: March 28, 2010 On the issue of finding hot, eligible men- I am not quite sure what was up with those four women from the long running New York based HBO TV show. The one that we... never dare speak it's name... since it sold out with the saccharin big screen version. Anyway, they should have just hung out on 7th Avenue between W13th and 12th. There are more hot male doctors on that block than you can shake a tongue depression stick at and it's only a stone's throw away from The Pleasure Chest. It's just good planning to have your future love and a great sex shop within walking distance. Specifically the places to frequent are Subway Sandwiches and Duane Reade. Always docs in there from St Vincents, wearing scrubs, no doubt fresh from saving the lives of babies and dealing with multiple G.S.W's. It's too late for me girls and boys. I married a man who works in media accounting. The only thing he saves is budget costs on a PDF. I suggest you get yourself a $5 footlong and a pack of Advil and go meet your future husband.

Posted via email from Big Apple Brits - British Expats, Anglophiles and Brit Culture Lovers New York City

"Hands off!' by Dating Blogger

Now this isn’t strictly a ‘dating’ issue, but it certainly is one that effects any relations between single men and women at bars/nightclubs/parties and therefore, I’m blogging about it.

WHAT IS WITH ALL THE TOUCHING?!

I remember well the first time I experienced a Manhattan dance floor, it was after watching England lose a rugby match and the beers that that involved. My friends and I rolled into some random bar where the music had a strong enough beat for us to be able to just about move in time to, despite being somewhat hindered in the coordination department.

It was a hot, sticky place and the dance floor was crowded, but nevertheless we were enjoying ourselves until, quite out of the blue I was, for want of a better word, groped.

Now, I wanted to think it had been a mistake, so I chose to ignore the action. Only for it to happen again, more insistently. So I spun around and made it very clear that is not OK by me! Entirely without shame the perpetrator grinned at me and went in for another grab.

I immediately stomped over to the security guy to complain, only to have him tell me there was nothing he could do and I should move away.

I still vividly remember my shock. I chose to go home instead, but from that day on I have noticed this happening time and again. It’s like dancing is some code for “I’m a slapper, feel free to touch.”

Not cool, New York, not cool.

"Cut and shovel" by Dating Blogger

Growing up my dad instilled in me the importance of good table manners. Hold your fork in the left hand, knife in the right, index fingers placed on top. Cut your food holding it steady with the fork and bring the food to your mouth, not vice versa.

I always took it for granted that others were being taught similarly. Not so in the US of A it would seem.

The first dinner date I had in NYC was at a restaurant I had been eyeing for weeks, too expensive to justify going to with friends, I was delighted when my date suggested it.

We sat down and I eagerly scanned the splendid menu, we made our choices and engaged in witty small talk while we waited for the food to arrive, all going well so far.

When the starters arrived I noticed he spooned his soup towards himself in the bowl, but I could get over that, it’s awkward to eat soup correctly and he was nervous.

Then the mains were presented. Initially he did quite well, holding his fork and knife correctly and cutting his steak with grace. Then before I knew it something happened to my seemingly well brought up, attentive and attractive date; he was replaced with a hog.

His knife lay abandoned at the side of his plate, his face lowered toward the plate and he proceeded to shovel his $50 meal into his face. I was in shock. It was so disgusting to watch that I actually had to look away. My appetite disappeared and I became one of those girls that doesn’t eat on dates, not because I was trying to make a ‘good’ impression you understand, I just couldn’t physically swallow anything, I was so concerned I would vomit as a result of what I was witnessing.

Once the mains were cleared I declined the dessert menu and literally held my breath until he declared that he too was too full for pudding. Phew!

Upon leaving him, with little more than a hand shake (I wasn't getting anywhere near his steak-stained face!), I had an epiphany. No wonder there are so many sushi places in New York. It’s so ex-pats can date Americans!

"There aren't any men." by Dating Blogger

So, following the gym man-hunt disaster I busied myself over the summer looking for prospective dates in all manner of places. Unfortunately, what I have concluded is that it is impossible to ‘randomly’ meet pleasant, single, sane men in New York. I will recap briefly on how I have reached this decision. Supermarket: Seeing as there is no real chain of supermarkets (oh how I miss Sainsburys) I was fair and loitered around several different shops, large and small to get a better overview of the possibility of meeting guys this way. The difficulties I found were: - Not many people in the big apple do ‘proper’ food shops, and chasing after guys who have popped in to buy milk and bread does not work. - People are very focused when food shopping and do not really appreciate strangers striking up conversations - Having to fill my basket with food items I wouldn’t mind a guy seeing meant I had to eat vegetables and nuts for weeks. Cinema: Seeing as the “no talking” rule is regularly flouted in cinemas over here I thought perhaps I might be able to meet someone to go for a drink with after. I did not. I had to sit through umpteen awful action films (I figured the kind of guys I would like to meet wouldn’t be watching Bride Wars or Marley and Me) and I was covered in spit and popcorn from all the shhhhhushing. Gross. Museums: Now, here I had a limited amount of success. I met two really lovely guys, good looking, intelligent and funny. One in the Guggenheim, one in MoMA, both agreed to coffee dates, hurrah! Problem? Both were tourists I will never see again. Baseball: How stupid was I?! Trying to have a conversation with a bloke who is engrossed in a sporting event?! Ha These are just four of the places I found myself surreptitiously glancing around for potential dates. I became quite the joiner and attended events and parties all over the place and still, nothing. Over a consolatory quadruple vodka with a smug, happily coupled-up friend, I came to the next challenge.. organised singles events. Yep, in the name of research I am ready to put myself through wine tastings and speed dating and whatever else is out there… watch this space.

"You live where?!" by Dating Blogger

Address snobbery. It happens everywhere, but somehow in New York, where you live seems to really matter to prospective dates.

You see, telling a die-hard Manhattan dwelling guy that you live somewhere in deepest darkest Queens, Brooklyn, New Jersey or, woe betides you, Upstate, will almost certainly mean he never calls. A similar attitude definitely exists in London, but the reasons are different.

Reason A): Travel

NYC: He can’t be bothered to ever schlep all the way to your place and doesn’t want you staying over all the time because you can’t get home

London: He has to be geographically aware because there is a high likelihood that due to the incomprehensible chaos that is public transport in London and the sheer size of the city, he actually might not be able to ever see you

Reason B) Money

NYC: He is concerned that you live there because you earn a pittance and will therefore expect him to subsidise any and all dating activities

London: This is probably the same as NY reason B. Let’s be honest!

Reason C) Class

NYC: He is a downright snob

London: He is a downright snob, but is this way due to centuries of proper breeding. The class system in good ole Blighty is in place because we have history, not solely because one person got lucky and landed a high paid job and the other didn’t

Reason D) Fear

NYC: He is genuinely terrified of ever leaving Manhattan or associating with anyone who does

London: He is genuinely terrified of leaving areas of London he feels comfortable in for fear of never being able to return due to reason A).

Sophie, a hardened NYC dater who is perfectly accustomed to, and even accepting of, the 'multiple dates at once' theory (see earlier blog entries for more on this), sees merits in the system.

“It works both ways,” she tells me, “I only date people with specific zip codes.”

So, once you’ve got your head around whether to say your high 90’s street address is in the “Upper Eastside” or “Spanish Harlem” neighbourhood depending on your audience, you’re all set. Just be aware if you are a Sophie and after a particular type of guy, because more than likely, he’s ‘adapting’ his address too…