"Girls, make some effort" by Dating Blogger

Since moving to NYC two years ago I have been consistently amused/surprised/horrified by the 'dating scene' in the big apple. I have a large group of fabulous friends in the city now and (with names changed!) have been given permission to share with you all some of their stories mixed in with a few of my own to help new-comers to the city get their head around the rules of dating in New York. Enjoy!

Girls, make some effort

Picture this, Friday night in a crowded downtown bar, I sit with two female friends nursing over-priced but delicious cocktails when in walk three suited and booted city guys. Our eyes lock and the six of us appraise each other. After a moment’s consideration, we are all undoubtedly interested in talking to one another and seeing if there may be any chance of banter and flirtation.

Now, if this were a scene in London you will next imagine us ladies remaining seated and the guys sauntering over and in all likelihood offering some terrible chat up line to get the conversation started.

However, we are in New York. And things don't work like that. We ladies are expected to give up the much coveted bar stools and make our way over to the guys. If we don't, we will likely find the blokes will simply ignore us and either hang around long enough for one drink to see if any other women will go up to them or else, they will leave pretty promptly in search of better hunting grounds.

“You’re joking!” I hear you gals cry! I wish I was. This has to be the most astounding elements of NYC dating for me; the amount of effort a lass has to go to in order to get anywhere is painful.

I clearly remember Jemima, who moved to the city less than three months ago, listening in disbelief as I explained the situation to her. I could see the frown lines clearly displaying her confusion and reluctance to accept what I was saying. Then, as if I had it planned, the unthinkable happened right behind us. Three attractive women walked over to two very average guys and struck up a conversation. The shock and disgust that filled her face in seconds as she took in this very real example of the state of affairs in the big apple still makes me chuckle when I think about it.

If you don’t believe me, try it. Go and sit in a bar and don’t make a move. You’ll quickly see that unless there actually aren’t any other women in the bars, you will be in for a lonely drinking session!