Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Stepford Wife's Workout Essentials...

Coming up to my 3rd year in Stepford you'd think one might grow accustomed to the foibles of the local inhabitants..
Wifus Stepfordicus is a truly strange breed, not to be confused with the aspirational lesser spotted New Jersey House Wifus, or indeed the more brazen, well documented New York House Wifus... The Stepford Wife spends her day preening and primping, toying and tittilating until the hunter gatherer Prep Man returns with his spoils.
As part of the daily ritual the gym/bikram yoga/personal trainer comes only second to the initial hit of caffeine obtained from Starbucks/LPQ/Insert local french pattiserie of choice. But as the winter months draw in, it's the plumage of the Stepford Wife that begins to decree her standing in the community.
A NJ wife might be happy to spend her morning ritual clad in a Juicy Couture track suit, the Stepford Wife however, is mostly seen in Lululemon - the 'wicking friendly' sports attire that ensures this creature does not look like she's actually breaking a sweat during the observance of calorie burning. In addition, as the frigid weather closes in, full fur seems to be the only accessory of choice to transport this fragile species from one heated leisure facility to another.
This reporter also spotted a power walker in full length fur only yesterday striding through the picket fenced neighborhood, complete with fur ear muffs.... only in Stepford!

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