Posted: March 23, 2010 -
A buddy of mine once said for the place to see a true cross section of human life, head to the airport. She worked in fashion design and used to take her boss there to figure out who their real market was. Having spent a few hours in various airports recently, I'm beginning to see what she means - there's something about people going on vacation that makes them unable to deal with dressing with any semblance of taste. Maybe it's the pressure of flying these days or simply too much Rum, but there are certainly some frightening sights out there if you take a moment to peek next time you travel.
The 'lesser spotted fratt boy', released for a short period (generally Spring Break) from his natural habitat the jock filled college where he reigns supreme as magnum cum loudest at the local bar. In his new environment he seeks to travel in packs and indulge in taking on board liberal liquid supplies followed by long periods of male mating rituals - in Jamiaca this can be seen at its best in the natural habitat of Rick's cliff diving bar just around sunset.
The scantily clad 'trailer trash chic' traveller - oftentimes sporting signature braided hair and tattoos, this creature is always seen wearing the least amount of clothing regardless of whatever the climate dictates. You may be leaving 85f heat and heading to rain and 38f but this strain clings to beachwear to the end in order to display it's newly bronzed outer layer.
The 'corpulent colorful critter' who despite overindulging all year feels that vacation time is the perfect opportunity to display it's vast accumulation of additional paunch. Whether you find the female or the male variety (they often travel in pairs), you can spot this species from a distance due to their adoption of highly visible bright garb straining over well upholstered rolls of flesh.
These are just a few of the genus that I recently encountered - I'm sure if Ricky Gervais put his mind to it he could come up with a vast array of Flanimal material simply by sitting for a couple of hours at JFK...
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