Posted: May 29, 2010 -
I know it's Fleet Week in New York and one should always ask the credentials of a sailor, let alone a Captain before one takes to the high seas, but it was time to celebrate a buddies birthday in style. So what better way when the temperature gauge hit 100f than to hop on a boat and take a trip to famed sea food restaurant L'escale in Greenwich, CT. Sounds like a plan right - ah yes, until you factor in sod's law and the teeny tiny matter of low tide.
Having studied a little navigation for a Day Skipper course back in Blighty (that I never did quite manage to finish), even my dodgy knowledge could recall that you get hidden rocks at low water and certain gnarly rocks that at low tide might prove a tad hazardous.
With 3 other chicks in the back of his boat our trusty Captain managed to get us stuck on one of those little blighters whilst we ambled around Long Island Sound perusing the huge waterfront mansions (that maybe, post lottery win, could be mine). Agreed, the Sound is not quite as treacherous in theory as the high seas, but none the less there was a moment when we were considering ditching our cheese and wine overboard and slinging our sling backs (Manolo's naturally) over our shoulders to wade ashore.
Luckily for us our leader had an oar to hand so with manly dexterity it was on to our destination to recuperate from our near death experience.
Our table was next to Regis and Kathie Lee who were out for a reunion but were slightly less than pleased with us when our table decoration spontaneously combusted - or at least caught fire from the tea light - it took a gaggle of waiters and a water jug sometime to sort us out - at which point there was much harrumphing from fellow guests.
Not to be thwarted and forgetting to consider that in Sod's law most things occur in 3's we continued our lovely evening with present opening and wine.
The final part of our trilogy of woes came when, just as were about to head off - a man threw himself at us. Now I'm not talking about the traditional approach, you know, when a guy is totally smitten by your wit and charm and can't fight the feeling anymore. This guy came at us with more of a stumble, backwards, as his chair had utterly collapsed and he was caught in one of those slapstick 'will he or won't he' moments that can only ever work on Americas Funniest Videos. His chair had literally pegged out, hurling him towards us and our ladylike table.
Thank the Lord for quick reflexes and the fact that the Birthday girl (an ex dancer) has the body of a gazelle but the strength of a rhino - one nifty backhand and the bloke managed to regain his balance before taking the rest of our party out.
On reflection the Birthday girl (a long time New Yorker), took note that the poor guy was in fact rather an eligible looking bloke and maybe she should get his number for some of her divorced mates. You can take the girl out of New York.....
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